the hammer cure.

The past month I haven’t spent more than 2-3 days in the same place. It’s been a gloriously nomadic existence. Now however I’m paying the price for this splurge and gluttony with my geographical freedom. I seem to have developed a kind of motion sickness in reverse. This sedimentary and concreted life style where I now have spent two and a half days in the same place and know I will spend many more is making me a little ill. Or not ill perhaps, but uncomfortable, aching. My blood is pounding in a way that has nothing to do with adventure, lust or freedom but is simply the pounding of the scared and seemingly defeated. And this is a complete exaggeration of course. But I can’t help feel a little uncomfortable in my own skin when said skin is so very settled. It never goes away completely, but it does indeed get better, much. I just need to find something new to settle my mind on, build my thoughts around. Until that happens however I will be twitching and trying to think of places to escape to. It’s a matter of realising that freedom and comfort isn’t the same thing as running around the world like a headless chicken. The reasons I feel trapped are all in my mind and it’s only the momentary shocks of new sensory input that distracts me. And it’s just not possible to shock yourself through life. Or at least I doubt it is. Anyhow, the high is always followed by a plateauing. It’s a given.

Currently I’m using classic Hammer Horror and sugar as the self-medication that I need to get over all of this. It’s actually semi-effective.


~ by Ape on August 17, 2013.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: