Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful, hate me cause I’m homo.

One late night discussion (there was chocolate involved) had me and a couple of friends talking about starting a performing trio. And one thing lead to another and there was a moment where we all three exclaimed in a unanimous content sigh, “ah, I love Jane Lynch”. As a result October was declared to be Jane Lynch month and we prepared to read her biography Happy Accidents. And now with the book in hand I have to ask myself, what is it that we love?

The woman has impeccable comedic timing, that is a one aspect of it sure, but there’s more, isn’t there?! Then there’s the fact that she’s an out lesbian, which is usually met with positive hollering and community pride, but the more I read about her the more I keep wondering why, and at the same time I’m starting to develop a sneaking suspicion I know why.

Reading between the lines it becomes clear that Jane Lynch is not particularly fond of gay people and perhaps that’s why gays at large see her as a role model, because no one, not even Phelps, hate gays as much as gays do.

If the Catholics have a monopoly on shame, then the Homos have one on self-loathing. It’s not really a surprise considering what kind of society we live in and most of us continue to be a part of.

Every attack the LGBT community has mustered have been neutralised by the “ruling class” (I enjoy Marxism as much as I do the lingo of it). The Stonewall Riots have been turned into a peaceful and silly demonstration of how to commersialise the other. Marriage Equality (which is a fucking oxymoron if I ever heard one) is another capitalistic endeavour meant to tame and homogenise a potentially dangerous sub-culture into an existing set of (het)norms and tie them to the government.

Every time we try to fight back the weapons are taken out of our hands and we’re pushed back into neat and orderly lines in a society where gays are victims and objects. Media shows us personal violence and victimisation daily and have fetish-ised our sexuality through porn and titillation. From the getgo we’re told and supposed to accept that “we’re not like the other boys/girls”, but as a paradox we grow up and are supposed to yearn for those same things that our straight siblings do (family, marriage, privileges etc.).

So how do you deal with that? With that constant stream of objectification and contradicting images and ideals. How do you deal with a culture that tells you to be proud of who you are and then shows you what that is supposed to look like? (It’s a fucking wonder not more queers suffer from borderline personality disorder.) I think one of the ways is the self-hatred. Not necessarily on a concious level, but always as a driving force just below the surface. A kind of Stockholm Syndrome if you want. A survival mechanism and a way to create a relationship with the power structure of our current culture, in the hopes that if we do, they’ll spare us; “We’re sympathetic to your beliefs, so will you show us sympathy by tolerating us?”

Maybe that’s why we all love Jane Lynch the Apologetic Lesbian. Or am I being too dark and cynical?

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~ by Ape on September 20, 2012.

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